drive like crazy.

don't you hate when you see yourself going completely psycho on something for no reason but extreme jealousy. sure you trust yours, but you can't stand the audacity of this other person for even tempting to compromise that faith. maybe it's not such a bad thing?
...maybe that gut wrenching feeling of the thought of someone else with your mate is just that.. love. as much as I hate turning completely teen girl squad when I see stupid stuff on facebook or texts etc. I only hope that he feels that same erkk when a dude posts on my wall.

on sleeping with you.

we've been sleeping together a long time.
however, there are a few things I need to get off my chest.
don't get me wrong, I do love you.
I appreciate the kisses and all the attention,
even though it does get a little much.
the issue here is when you are sleeping...
you take up a lot of space
and let's be honest,  you are not that big.
when I try and move you, you growl and kick.
the smells and sounds that exit your body are horrifying.
it's embarrassing, what if my roommates assume it's me?
you're jealous and lash out when anyone else comes near.
you're in and out all night.
I don't know where you are or who you are with.
my bed is my sanctuary, not a flop pad for your convenience.
and it especially hurts when I try and snuggle closer to you
and you get up and leave.
you would rather sleep on the couch than be touching me.
I know you'll never read this, you think blogs are stupid...
but just know, I think it's time we revisit getting you your own dog bed.

the voyeur.

why do men love strip clubs? fetishes for big, fake boobs, therapy and more.. check out this blog if you are interested (like you are not).

humbug.

broke? join the club. here is an excellent article about giving without spending. less stress, less wrinkles... better boddies. who doesn't want a better body?!

more wool.

thumb sketch.

I'm fine.

and we rely on eachother.

tender love is blind, it requires a dedication
all this love we feel needs no conversation
we ride together, ah ha
from one love to another ah ha

bee gees

happy christmas.

It' has been a year since last. I guess that never changes. christmas has a way of making you think of the years before. maybe it's the nostalgia. maybe it's the new chill in the air and moments of reflection when your breath turns to smoke. a year older, a year wiser. more tears, more laughs, more wrinkles. better clarity, yet still the same problems. better friends, new and old. with each broken heart, each magic kiss, you are closer to realizing and experiencing true love.

I am no more together in my life then a year earlier, but I am happier and I have those in my life to thank.

my friends, for being so fucking funny. I realize that seems like a rediculous sentiment to be the most thankful for, but I am. I have the funniest friends in the world and my ability to not take my life so seriously I can conclude to how often I pee my pants laughing at my friends.

my family, I spent many years blaming 'les miserables' that is the production of my christmas holiday on my family. but instead of thinking about how I get zero items from my list on christmas morning or the depressing awkwardness of divorced parents on special occasions. if I think about how weeks earlier they bailed me out of being homeless (or cell phone less) for the ump teenth time, and how much support they give me and how I really couldn't function without them. to think of how my dad spent years telling my sister and I how santa would be sick of milk and cookies and would much prefer beer and stinky cheese by the time he got to our house. or my mom's insistence in getting my sister and I new pajamas for christmas eve. even though we haven't worn pajamas since we were ten and not to mention it is a miracle if either of us manage to get home to pass out christmas eve, never mind change into sweat pants ... all for the sake of tradition. because even though, to me christmas sucks, if I didn't have my sister to roll my eyes at with... I'd fake mono every year.

my dog, for looking up at me with those eyes. she pees herself every time I walk in the door. she is so stoked EVERY morning just because I get out of bed.

just, because it's all you. at the end of the day if things aren't right with you, I am not happy. you make me happy. those messages, those smiles, hearing you just call me your girlfriend is better than any christmas present I've ever known.

so as hard as I tried to fight it, winter is here. christmas is coming. and while I could be richer, could be smarter, could be thinner... could have a inkling of what I plan on doing with my life, I am thankful.
so merry christmas.

you filthy animals.

miss piggy: sex icon.

an amazing gallery of miss piggy working it.

I'm fine.

...lanieka on the other hand.

sunday secrets.

I thought this was a really interesting sunday secret. I think there is only so many times friends can go over the same issue before one finally stops caring. you can only help people who want to help themselves. I have so much respect for those who talk to professionals. It's like admitting to yourself, you're worth it.

breathing.

I'm finding it harder
the feeling of air in my lungs,
I have to tell myself to let the air out.

I'm suffocating.
how do you force yourself to do something
that should come naturally?

the only time I can concentrate on a rhythm,
a relaxed pace in which the air comes in and out,
is underwater.

the space between.

I don’t know why I find it hard to write about you. Perhaps when one has not written something meaningful in a while, it is just hard to write at all.

The second I saw you I was attracted to you; actually, that is an understatement. I thought you were one of the most attractive men I had ever seen. Then you opened your mouth and also had one of the most beautiful voices I had ever heard—soothing, proper, lovely.

Little did I know that years later you would play such a significant role in my life, nor such a confusing one. Above all else you are a wonderful friend. You are genuinely excited when something good happens to me and you’re empathetic when I’m going through a hard time.

Our obstacle is distance. I don’t know what life would be like if we lived in the same place. Maybe we would work, maybe we wouldn’t (although the thought of the latter is quite painful). Right now we have technology, visits, and memories. I just want you to know that I appreciate you and I am grateful for you.


thank you le love

some we love, some we hate, some we eat.

In a constant moral battle with myself I am faced with the ethical dilemma... how can I love dogs, eat turkeys and wear cows? In Hal Herzog's book Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat, he articulates this 'middle' ground I face like many other animal lovers. Like most people, he too is conflicted about our ethical obligations to animals. We middlers see the world in shades of gray rather than clear blacks and whites of committed animal activists. We live in a complex moral universe. I eat meat- but not veal or lamb. I am appose to testing makeup on animals but, would sacrifice hoards of mice to cure cancer. I think Herzog puts it perfectly, "...the troubled middle makes perfect sense because moral quagmires are Ginevitable in a species with a huge brain and a big heart. They come with the territory."

día de los muertos

I have the heart of a small boy...

... it's in a jar.

note to myself:

Love thy beer-belly.

Take one minute at a time.
Unwind, little one, unwind.
Before there was now, there was time before this time.
Little by little.
Love thyself but love others deeper.
Lykke Li

watch.

tis the season...

I hear ya charlie.

muse.

love is the foundation of art.
inspiring our most vicious thoughts; and our most profound
we have love to thank.
one feels such emotion
creativity becomes the only way to express and release
look for the love in the one you desire's (he)art
hopefully it's you.

so I wait.

I'm here
can you not see me?
maybe you are not looking...

I have pictures to show you,
questions to ask
dreams to make.

I won't shout
I won't write
I won't call out your name...

because if you wanted me,
you'd know where I am.

face your memory.

the human brain cannot create  faces. therefore when you dream,  if you you see someone you do not know, you have seen their face before - even if it was for a split second.

in reflection.

monday smiles.

this is halloween.

get your pumpkins, embrace your dark side... this is halloween.

worry not.

don't think about all those things you fear. just be glad to be here. 

words running madness.

the problem with being a dreamer, a writer, a poet, is not that they feel more than everyone else. It is that they cannot escape from it. all the pain, ache and explosions,- others can dismiss as merely a feeling that cannot be contained. but for us, there are endless words to describe the way we feel, to actualize the feeling, to give it existence, to gravitate them. the irresistible impulse to label everything, to get to the bottom of every unexplainable feeling is crippling. to live as a writer is non-apologetic. everywhere that you try to escape to, is aesthetically numb. even when you do not see what reminds you of it, words are running madness inside your head.
thank you lelove

hold tight.

sometimes I have the strangest of feeling about you. especially when you are near as you are now. it feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. and when you go, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly.
Jane Eyre

miss representation.

released so soon... can't wait to see this brilliance. reminds me why I love marketing and communications. the sexuality of the woman and the direct correlation with media. amazing.

Miss Representation 8 min. Trailer 8/23/11 from Miss Representation on Vimeo.

say something nice.

video games.

It's you it's you it's all for you, everything I do.
my favorite song right now.
thank you gala.

darling.

so unexpected and took us both by surprise.
it was exciting and was fresh yet, familiar.
It was different from anything we had ever felt before.
Right now, though, I feel weak.
I feel clingy, but it's never hit me this hard before.
I don’t want to regret not saying things to you before you leave, so here it is…..

This thing between is unexplainable. It cannot be described because I can’t seem to be able too. The words and the concepts just don’t seem to match what it actually is. Every time I got a text or thought about you my stomach would get all funny, like there were butterflies where organs should be. I felt like a little kid again.

You have taught me so much and made me feel like I have something to look forward to again in the future. Don’t be scared or nervous because being young is such an exciting time and you officially have the world at your feet, the world is now your oyster.

The time I have spent with you has made me look forward to the next time we see each other, whether it be tomorrow, next month, next year, 10 years from now or when you finally return from this exciting journey your about to take part on. It is the best feeling knowing that some of your best days are just waiting to be lived out. Doing anything with you seems extraordinary to me.

thank you lelove

high school truths.

my high school was ghetto, yet preppy.
fuck yes public school.

it's you who I dream of.

you are in my dreams.
no matter what I do.
what does that mean?
do you dream of me as I do you?
disappeared like a card in a cheap trick.
I noticed the cheat, we all did.
narcissistic?
and yes, fuck. I miss you.
was notice your goal all along?
I don't expect an answer.
but I'll see you soon, true blue.

summertime in the city.

why is the city so much better in the summer?
exploring markets and festivals.
walking everywhere, even the ttc is more bearable.
explore your city while you still can.

world peace duh.

So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much. 
cher, clueless

tgif.

blue valentine.

are.

I'M DRAWN TO A TOUCH OF ELEGANCE, LIGHTNESS, AND YOUTHFULNESS. PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT JUST PRESENTING AN IMAGE, BUT A REPUTATION AS WELL. PEOPLE WHO LIVE NONCHALANTLY, IN BOTH LARGE CITIES AND IN SMALL TOWNS; PEOPLE WHO FOCUS ON QUALITY OF SOLID TRADITIONS THEY’VE TURNED INTO GUIDELINES FOR CONTEMPORARY LIFE; PEOPLE FAMILIAR WITH THAT KIND OF WELL-EDUCATED LUXURY THAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE, YET NEVER FLAUNTING IT; PEOPLE WHO ALSO KNOW HOW TO TAKE A BREAK FROM IT ALL AND CAN JUST RELAX, HAVE FUN, AND JOKE WITH FRIENDS. SPECIAL, “COMPLETE,” RESPECTABLE PEOPLE, PEOPLE WHO REALLY HAVE NO NEED TO “APPEAR,” INSOFAR AS THEY ALREADY “ARE."

Donatella SARTORIO 

old bones over here.

friday night. my feet hurt. all I want to do is curl up with a glass of wine and read game of thrones.
maybe some skypsie nine if things get crazy.

it was never you.

if there is one thing i can stress, it is that he or she is not for you. those break ups, those fights, those sleepless nights, they all mean something. you are wasting your time. yes, love is hard and love is strange but, no matter what songs say, love is not something you work for. it's there at the end of a hard day. it's there after you hear bad news. they are there and no distance, no aggravation, no problem will change that as long as you love each other.

commited.

tgif.

leaning on glass.

fall fashion.

those things.

those tiny things. those tiny simply amazing things. when you get the cold side of a pillow. when your meal comes faster than expected. when you fall asleep before they turn around to get comfortable. having your heart fill with the sensation of happiness because of your amazing friends, a good book, a cup of tea, a glass of wine. when they make your heart melt with the simplicity of just knowing they care. it's those things.

sea glass.

Let's put all our treasures together
 the clocks, plates, cups cracked by the cold
into a sack and carry them
to the sea
and let our possessions sink
into one alarming breaker
that sounds like a river.
May whatever breaks
be reconstructed by the sea
with the long labor of its tides.
So many useless things
which nobody broke
but which got broken anyway.

Ode to broken things by Pablo Neruda

ariana.