breathing.

I'm finding it harder
the feeling of air in my lungs,
I have to tell myself to let the air out.

I'm suffocating.
how do you force yourself to do something
that should come naturally?

the only time I can concentrate on a rhythm,
a relaxed pace in which the air comes in and out,
is underwater.

the space between.

I don’t know why I find it hard to write about you. Perhaps when one has not written something meaningful in a while, it is just hard to write at all.

The second I saw you I was attracted to you; actually, that is an understatement. I thought you were one of the most attractive men I had ever seen. Then you opened your mouth and also had one of the most beautiful voices I had ever heard—soothing, proper, lovely.

Little did I know that years later you would play such a significant role in my life, nor such a confusing one. Above all else you are a wonderful friend. You are genuinely excited when something good happens to me and you’re empathetic when I’m going through a hard time.

Our obstacle is distance. I don’t know what life would be like if we lived in the same place. Maybe we would work, maybe we wouldn’t (although the thought of the latter is quite painful). Right now we have technology, visits, and memories. I just want you to know that I appreciate you and I am grateful for you.


thank you le love

some we love, some we hate, some we eat.

In a constant moral battle with myself I am faced with the ethical dilemma... how can I love dogs, eat turkeys and wear cows? In Hal Herzog's book Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat, he articulates this 'middle' ground I face like many other animal lovers. Like most people, he too is conflicted about our ethical obligations to animals. We middlers see the world in shades of gray rather than clear blacks and whites of committed animal activists. We live in a complex moral universe. I eat meat- but not veal or lamb. I am appose to testing makeup on animals but, would sacrifice hoards of mice to cure cancer. I think Herzog puts it perfectly, "...the troubled middle makes perfect sense because moral quagmires are Ginevitable in a species with a huge brain and a big heart. They come with the territory."