Friday, March 26, 2010

getting to know each other.

Social media networks have made connecting with new suitors and old loved ones much easier. Simply type in a name or a mutual friend and they are instantly at your fingertips, send a message and voila! But aside from social media networks and online dating sites I am amazed at how much technology and media is infused in the physicality’s of dating today.Now to get personal, I will explain what I mean. I have been courted a gentleman suitor for over a month or so – in University terms- we hang out watch movies on our laptops and regular the pubs. But amongst these physical activities two major aspects are highly technological. The first is communication. We realized that in talking everyday all day since we met, the entirety of our communication has been via text messages- not one single phone call. How bananas is that? Within each text message we agreed that they are each finely tuned to a couple sentences to reflect the best representation of our selves and the intended message. The second technological infusion of this casual ‘dating’ is the “getting to know each other”. Having met each other in University, the possibilities of discovering things about one another is endless… so why not show them? Within seconds we pull up Google street view and are showing each other our childhood houses, middle schools and neighborhoods. Want to see what I looked like at three? Old pictures in a family member’s albums on face book are pulled up and shared. No matter how much we try and do it the old fashioned way, technology is such a convenient part of every aspect of our lives it’s impossible to ignore, even just ‘getting to know one another’.
Image: Flickr druideye


  1. This is all very true. Really, the days of having to pick up the phone and call someone after you got their number is over. No more stressing about what to say after you awkwardly met somebody at the bar. Instead, all you have to do is find them on Facebook or type 100 characters on a phone text. Obviously you need a little face to face time if you really want to get to know each other, but I do wonder how this is going to effect our social behaviors. It seems that we are continuously distancing ourselves from just about everything! AHHH!

  2. Well put Kale, it is bananas! (Also, mad props for the photo – haha I really hope you have a contact called ‘Blingsauce’).

    While I am always a proponent of technology, I am going to have to agree with Robin on this one. More ways to connect are always a good thing. However, I hope that technological modes of communication do not fully replace the human element. In its current state, I believe a person’s digital representation is often awkwardly different that the impression one gets in person. We have discussed this many times in FILM 345 regarding a person’s real self and their projected digital self. I am always amazed (and sometimes annoyed) at how people I know can come off completely different in their social media representations. In this sense, I believe it is important (especially in relationships) to understand the difference between online personalities and real-life personalities. In my feeble opinion (and I really have little experience here), you need to be attracted to both for a relationship to work.

  3. You would not believe how much of my opinion of someone is shaped by their technological persona. With acquaintances, it's how I get to learn about their personality, their interests, even their sense of humour.
    Someone's social media activity can make or break what people think of them. I have actually become angry with people because of something they've written on facebook, photos they've been tagged in, or texts they've sent that didn't convey the right...tone.
    The worst part is, it's difficult to forget about these tech social faux pas because...there they are. Set in stone. In text. Right in front of you on that little screen. Make an off colour joke to my face, and I'll likely forget about it in a few minutes and just naturally forgive you. Write it on my wall? It's harder to forget.

  4. I'm so glad that someone posted on this topic!! I conducted a very (VERY) informal survey of my friends this summer on topics similar. I have friends who are in their 30s and it's amazing how differently technology figures in their love lives.

    However, when talking with my friends in our 20s, it seems that texting, Facebooking, and the like has added a multitude of new layers to dating. Instead of getting someone's number, they add you on FB, which somehow seems less intimate despite the fact that so much of your life is on FB. Then you graduate to texting the person, and maybe then you go on a date. Discussing it with my friends, we all agreed that getting a phone call instead of a text from someone we were interested in would be weird - funny how times change. Then there's the whole intricacies of FB messaging, but that's a whole different post.