you are my definition.

“There is always one person you love who becomes that definition.

This is the person who unknowingly sets the template

for what you will always love about other people.”

-Chuck Klosterman

via the magnificent katie boland

heart breaker.

In a recent interview for thefabric katie boland is asked "what is the worst thing that has happened to you that most inspired you?" her answer genuinely brought me to tears on a level I can relate far too well. I always wonder if I find someone to keep me at home more, will I lose this fascination for all things love?

she answers "heartbreak. everything... man, I have so much in my life because of being heart broken. I owe pretty much how my life looks right now to having my heart broken. I took one of my old boyfriends out for lunch recently and thanked him so much for everything because without him I never would about started writing, I feel like I have a deeper understanding about myself and the world and a bunch of other bs about becoming a better artist... when you are heart broken especially for the first time, you think that nothing will ever make you feel better and so to know that you can get through that it was such a learning experience for me. and makes me feel really optimistic about the future. so thank you men"

watch the beautiful video on thefabric and read more of katie's wisdomosity here.
photo credit: arden wray

it's always you.

"But how did he know that he didn't love her?
I never understood how it could be so black and white. I was never sure if I loved someone. I can love a lot of things about anyone. He might look back later and realize that he did love her. He might like her more than he knows. And she might realize that she never loved him at all, even if she was sure she did. How do you know, in the moment? He'll find out that this whole crisis has nothing to do with her. 
Trust me when I say that everything is always all about you."
with love katie boland and her brilliant fiction from her site. I can't get enough.

dear men: thank you.

these are my favourite excerpts from the beautiful and ever talented katie boland's open letter to men, the rest can be found on her blog new slang.
Dear Men,
Ultimately, thanks for the experiences we’ve shared, good bad. The love and loss, tangled together, are the most defining moments my life. Thanks for defining all the other ladies, too, and thanks for letting us define you.
Thanks for being so fucking funny and smart. Thanks for telling me about cool music I didn’t know about before. Thanks for walking me to a cab or the streetcar late at night. Thanks for making the house feel safer when you’re in it. Thanks for loving my Mom, my sister, my friends - even if things didn’t work out. Thanks for the challenges. Thank you to gay dudes...well, to gay people in general. Your contributions to society make life more worth living for me, for my children, for my children’s children.
To the dudes who are having a hard time with us right now - I don’t know why we like the assholes. We should like you. Take solace in knowing that you are someone’s asshole, that someone who you can’t love could’ve loved you, if only you’d been willing. We all play foolish games and we’re all reckless with each other’s hearts. For better or for worse, know nothing is permanent.
To men in general, thanks for letting me think about you so much. Thanks for collared shirts. Thanks for how boss you look in a suit. Thanks for your blue jeans and Converse shoes. Thanks for the way you look at us. Thanks for nice things you say about our bodies, and thanks for how those nice things make us feel. Thanks for hollering at me on the street. The psychology of that is a little fucked up, but from here on out, I’m assuming that you are doing it with the most human intentions, that you just want to tell me the world is a little better with me in it. Thanks. The world is better when people are kind enough to remind me.
To the brave men that ask us out on dates, thank you. I can’t even imagine how terrifying that must be. It shouldn’t be all on you but it is. I’m really sorry. Thank you for the leap of faith. Trust me when I say that you’re doing good.
Thanks for living in a fucked up time in society for men. It was probably a lot easier when there were rules for being a man, when everyone’s parent’s didn’t split up, when cowboys were little boy’s sole role-models. I’m sorry. But I think we’re moving in the right direction, that everyday we’re a little closer to understanding each other.
Thanks for marrying us. Thanks for fathering our children. Thanks for staying the night even when it doesn't work out. Thanks to those men I don’t know yet because I’m really looking forward to the time we'll spend together.
Men, you don’t know how lovely you are because we don’t tell you enough.