happy christmas.

It' has been a year since last. I guess that never changes. christmas has a way of making you think of the years before. maybe it's the nostalgia. maybe it's the new chill in the air and moments of reflection when your breath turns to smoke. a year older, a year wiser. more tears, more laughs, more wrinkles. better clarity, yet still the same problems. better friends, new and old. with each broken heart, each magic kiss, you are closer to realizing and experiencing true love.

I am no more together in my life then a year earlier, but I am happier and I have those in my life to thank.

my friends, for being so fucking funny. I realize that seems like a rediculous sentiment to be the most thankful for, but I am. I have the funniest friends in the world and my ability to not take my life so seriously I can conclude to how often I pee my pants laughing at my friends.

my family, I spent many years blaming 'les miserables' that is the production of my christmas holiday on my family. but instead of thinking about how I get zero items from my list on christmas morning or the depressing awkwardness of divorced parents on special occasions. if I think about how weeks earlier they bailed me out of being homeless (or cell phone less) for the ump teenth time, and how much support they give me and how I really couldn't function without them. to think of how my dad spent years telling my sister and I how santa would be sick of milk and cookies and would much prefer beer and stinky cheese by the time he got to our house. or my mom's insistence in getting my sister and I new pajamas for christmas eve. even though we haven't worn pajamas since we were ten and not to mention it is a miracle if either of us manage to get home to pass out christmas eve, never mind change into sweat pants ... all for the sake of tradition. because even though, to me christmas sucks, if I didn't have my sister to roll my eyes at with... I'd fake mono every year.

my dog, for looking up at me with those eyes. she pees herself every time I walk in the door. she is so stoked EVERY morning just because I get out of bed.

just, because it's all you. at the end of the day if things aren't right with you, I am not happy. you make me happy. those messages, those smiles, hearing you just call me your girlfriend is better than any christmas present I've ever known.

so as hard as I tried to fight it, winter is here. christmas is coming. and while I could be richer, could be smarter, could be thinner... could have a inkling of what I plan on doing with my life, I am thankful.
so merry christmas.

you filthy animals.

monday smiles.

inspiration is what you are to me.

Taking responsibility for yourself is so incredibly liberating, & here is why. It will show you what innate power you have within you. Look at all the things around you, good & not-so-good. You have attracted them into your life, whether you believe it or not. & in a worst case scenario, if you can create awful things for yourself, like horrible relationships, crappy jobs & a general sense of malaise & apathy, think what you could create if you focused your attention in a different way! What if, instead of thinking about how bad everything is all the time, you thought about how WONDERFUL life is? Because even if you look around yourself & see things which make you unhappy, surely you must acknowledge that the world is full of marvellous things too. There’s love & music & art, delicious food & springy green grass, snowflakes & puppy kisses, hula hooping in the sunshine & exploring new cities. There are fresh vegetables & false eyelashes, majestic mountains & elephants, dreams & adrenaline, sky-diving & gardening…
thank you gala.

have all the fun.

update your play list. it makes a world of difference in your daily anything and everything. new beats, new thoughts, new feelings... all good things.

with love, nancy

happiness is not a fish you can catch.